Reviews. Ratings. Stories. The "Dick in the Popcorn" trick.

If it's about a movie...or going to a movie...or, Christ, even watching'll find it here in "Moog's Movie Reviews!"

Monday, July 14, 2008

How do you say, "In Bruges?"

My brother-in-law, Derek, is now becoming - thankfully - a regular contributor here (click here to see his other reviews).

This is good - because I'm fairly broke and my Netflix list at home consists of:

1) "The Incredible Hulk TV Series, Season 1" (F*CK YEAH!)
2) "Grey's Anatomy" (wife's pick)
3) "The Bucket List" (a.k.a., "Bucket of Suck")

So I'm looking for help wherever I can get it.

In rides Derek on his giant Netflix horse to save the day.

Today, Derek is reviewing one of his Netflix rentals:

"In Bruges"


Have you ever wanted to see Colin Farrell karate chop a racist dwarf in the neck?

If you are like me, the answer is yes. And finally we have a movie that allows us such a treat.

The movie, "In Bruges" (pronounced like rouge but with a “br”), follows two hit men, Farrell and Brendan Gleeson, to the city of Bruges, Belgium - which I must admit, I never knew existed - while they lay low after a hit gone awry.

It mixes some very funny dialogue -

Hitman #1 - “Don’t you want to go up and see the view?”

Hitman #2 - “The view of what? Down here?! I can already see down here from where I am standing.”

- with some incredibly graphic violence.

It’s like watching Fox News except this humor is intended.

Some very good performances by Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes. And who knew Colin could actually act? He has been pretty forgettable up until now.

Unless you count his home sex tape my brother-in-law (different one) showed me on the internet but I don’t think he was acting in that.

(editor's note: WHAT TAPE?! WHERE?! Why aren't you sharing?!? Call me - Moog.)

He’s so bad that in one movie they stuck him in a phone booth for the whole thing - and he never left the damn phone booth. All this stuff was happening but he was still sitting there in the phone booth.

I can’t remember the name of the movie though.

But I digress.

(editor's note: Not sure, Derek..but I think the title may have had the word "phone" in it. You're welcome - Moog)

If you get nothing else out of watching this movie, you may want to add it to your list of places to see before you die.

Bruges looks like a very intriguing city.

Derek's Score:

3 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


Thanks, Derek! Another great review!

Sounds like I'll be adding "In Bruges" to my Netflix list.

Once I'm done with the Hulk series and the Colin Farrell internet porn video.

Thanks in advance for getting that to me, Derek. Much appreciated.

Want to be a movie reviewer, too?

Then send me an email via the link on the right, or click here.

Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.


AngryMan said...

Did you review I Am Legend already? I just saw that this weekend.

C.Rag said...

I'm all about throwing or kicking dwarfs' asses.

meleah rebeccah said...

I totally want to see that Colin Farrell internet porn video ya'll are talking about. Just to see if the rumors are true.

Jen said...

I would also like to see Colin's video! That bush kind of turned me off though...hedge clippers, anyone!?