Burn After Reading - A BIL Review

Short review today.

Well, my brother-in-law Derek shot me an email the other day after I asked him if he'd seen "Eagle Eye," as I was tempted to go see it until I saw from rottentomatoes.com that pretty much everyone hated it.

I cave to peer pressure.

(By the way, if anyone saw it, and wants to post a review of "Eagle Eye" here, send it to me)

Here's Derek's email, which includes a short review of:

Burn After Reading

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"Hey - I have not seen Eagle Eye.

I read Ebert's review and he didn't like it at all.

(although to be honest, I need a second opinion because Ebert has changed since his surgery).

I did see "Burn After Reading".

I will say this:

If you like the Coen Brothers, I mean most Coen Brothers, not just Fargo.

If you like "The Big Lebowski," "Barton Fink," "O Brother Where Art Thou;" then I would recommend this movie.

I enjoyed it.

I thought the movie was pretty but the ending was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

I walked out of the theater with a huge smile on my face and not just because I was drunk and high."

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There you have it.

A good movie review from someone who may or may not have been drunk and high.

Derek's Score (assumed by me):

3 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


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Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

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Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.

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The Dark Knight - by Derek

Ok, I don’t know how to use the PhotoShop piece of the blog so this review will be all written. No visuals. Sorry.

The Dark Knight is over 2.5 hours long but who cares if it is a good movie. I don’t want good movies to end. See Magnolia. See Life is Beautiful.

However, we did get there 20 minutes early, sat through the commercials (I still can’t believe I am paying them to watch commercials), sat through 14 sneak previews (all with explosions of some sort – it is going to be a deafening summer at the movies) and then a 160 minute movie, all after drinking three iced teas at dinner.

One more Batman fight sequence and we could have used a paddle boat out of the theater.

The movie is loud. Really loud (said the 39 year old curmudgeon). The people in the next theater watching Mamma Mia must have been pissed. Then again, Pierce Brosnan singing…maybe not. Between the glass breaking, buildings crumbling, trucks flipping, bad guys pummeled, Batmobile racing, etc, I felt like I had just left a Tool concert except without the contact high.

You have been warned. That aside, this is a great movie. This is Heath Ledger’s movie. He steals every scene he is in. He will make you laugh while your skin is simultaneously crawling. (Insert your own Brokeback Mountain joke here. I will not because I liked that movie). He is a villain with no purpose. No motive. He is simply evil. Simply awesome. Dumbass had to go and kill himself.

Aside from Heath (the Joker), you have an all-star cast. They are as follows:

Christian Bale – The best Batman period. And a great actor. See The Machinist. See American Psycho.

Maggie Gyllenhaal – She is waaaaaaaaaaay better than Katie Holmes and just adorable. And rather sexy. In fact, she is on “my list”. See The Secretary.

Morgan Freeman – Always good. He’s like Gene Hackman. You can’t go wrong.

Aaron Eckhart – Under-appreciated actor. He can smile, looking so sincere yet something about him says he’s full of sh*t. See Thank you for Smoking. See In the Company of Men.

Michael Caine – Is it me or does this guy never age? Remember Blame it on Rio? He looks the exact same and Demi Moore, just a child in that movie, is now a rubbery old lady with plastic yams. You go MC!

Gary Oldman – This guy has played Sid Vicious, Dracula and Lee Harvey Oswald. Here he plays the trusty, if not a little nerdy, Commissioner Gordon. Now that is range!

I will not go in to detail about the plot. It is smart, well-written, dark (think - pencil through the head) and thought provoking. This is easily more than just a comic book movie (see Ironman). The special effects are top notch but do not overwhelm the movie. The fight scenes are effective without being drawn out. The car chases are spectacular without overstaying their welcome (see Ronin).

Three and a half splats from me.


Four if Maggie had shown a little boob.

How do you say, "In Bruges?"

My brother-in-law, Derek, is now becoming - thankfully - a regular contributor here (click here to see his other reviews).


This is good - because I'm fairly broke and my Netflix list at home consists of:

1) "The Incredible Hulk TV Series, Season 1" (F*CK YEAH!)
2) "Grey's Anatomy" (wife's pick)
3) "The Bucket List" (a.k.a., "Bucket of Suck")

So I'm looking for help wherever I can get it.

In rides Derek on his giant Netflix horse to save the day.

Today, Derek is reviewing one of his Netflix rentals:

"In Bruges"

Enjoy.
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Have you ever wanted to see Colin Farrell karate chop a racist dwarf in the neck?

If you are like me, the answer is yes. And finally we have a movie that allows us such a treat.


The movie, "In Bruges" (pronounced like rouge but with a “br”), follows two hit men, Farrell and Brendan Gleeson, to the city of Bruges, Belgium - which I must admit, I never knew existed - while they lay low after a hit gone awry.


It mixes some very funny dialogue -

Hitman #1 - “Don’t you want to go up and see the view?”

Hitman #2 - “The view of what? Down here?! I can already see down here from where I am standing.”

- with some incredibly graphic violence.

It’s like watching Fox News except this humor is intended.

Some very good performances by Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes. And who knew Colin could actually act? He has been pretty forgettable up until now.

Unless you count his home sex tape my brother-in-law (different one) showed me on the internet but I don’t think he was acting in that.

(editor's note: WHAT TAPE?! WHERE?! Why aren't you sharing?!? Call me - Moog.)


He’s so bad that in one movie they stuck him in a phone booth for the whole thing - and he never left the damn phone booth. All this stuff was happening but he was still sitting there in the phone booth.

I can’t remember the name of the movie though.

But I digress.

(editor's note: Not sure, Derek..but I think the title may have had the word "phone" in it. You're welcome - Moog)

If you get nothing else out of watching this movie, you may want to add it to your list of places to see before you die.

Bruges looks like a very intriguing city.

Derek's Score:

3 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


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Thanks, Derek! Another great review!

Sounds like I'll be adding "In Bruges" to my Netflix list.

Once I'm done with the Hulk series and the Colin Farrell internet porn video.

Thanks in advance for getting that to me, Derek. Much appreciated.

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Want to be a movie reviewer, too?

Then send me an email via the link on the right, or click here.

Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.
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"The Crappening" (and an Introduction to Derek)

My first Guest Contributor to "Moog's Movie Reviews" is my brother-in-law, Derek.

Derek is officially a movie connoisseur (which, I believe, is Portuguese for "lady in striped shorts"), and we go back and forth A LOT on the movies we've watched.

Derek was one of the guys who keeps trying to convince me that the ending to "No Country for Old Men" is good.

It's not.

He then sent me a 5 PARAGRAPH diatribe from one of HIS friends explaining the ending of "No Country."

Listen...I just paid $10 to see this f*cking movie.

I shouldn't have to read an epilogue to get the gyst of it.

But - he IS my wife's brother and the father of my nephew, Calvin (Hey,Cal..."Fun Uncle Rodney" says "HI!")...

...so I'll cut him some slack.


That said, here's Derek's review of "The Happening," sent to me via email.

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Email Subject: If we don't leave right now, we will all die.

That was some of the scintillating dialogue from the movie I saw this past weekend.

For Father's Day, Tracy gave me several hours of alone time to relax and not have to watch a child or do housework. SO I went to the movies.

I went to see "The Happening."

Other possible names for this movie could have been the obvious:

"What's Happening?"

"Nothing is Happening."

...or the more accurately:

"Why is this Happening to Me?"

(as in: why did I pay $8 to see this piece of garbage?!)

The last one is a longer title but the most fitting.


M. Night Shymalmlamalml is officially a bust.

He is Craig James.

Mark Wahlberg was terrible (although considering the material I can hardly fault him.)

I read a few reviews and a word that kept coming up was "meandering".

That is very fitting.

Derek's Score:
1/2 (half) a Mooge Splat out of a possible 4 (lowest recorded score ever)


Thanks, Derek!!

Sounds like a winner.

Derek will be a regular contributor here, I'm hoping.

Want to be one, too? Then send me an email via the link on the right, or click here.

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Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.
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