Wanted - OMG OMG OMG It's Angelina's BUM! HOORAY!

Today I'm reviewing another movie from my Netflix list:

Wanted


Good. Movie.

I had heard good things about this movie when it came out, but never got around to seeing it in the theaters.

This is probably because my kids made me see some type of animated shit instead.

Fuck you, Dreamworks. I'm so through with you.

You know...after 'Monsters vs. Aliens' and 'Up' and...

DAMMIT!


Back to 'Wanted.'

The basic plot is some Shia LaBeouf knockoff (James McAvoy) finds out that the father that abandoned him when he was a week old was in actuality a top assassin in a group known as 'The Fraternity.'

His father was also killed a week ago, and now the person who killed his father is now after him.

The Fraternity realizes that he has the same talents his father did and, in an effort to save him, recruits him into the club, trains him, and tasks him with the job of killing this man.

Angelina Jolie plays another assassin, who trains this kid.

(THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, casting director)


There's lots of action, a decent plot, and a really good twist - but I'm not giving it away.

(I only divulge such secrets for sex. Inquire within.)

I was very happy with this movie for a couple of reasons:

1) I got to see an extended shot of Angelina Jolie's bum crack

Have I said 'thank you' yet to the casting director?

Jesus H. Christ.

I need to send that person flowers or some shit.

Fucking genius.


2) It's like 'Bourne Identity' meets 'The Matrix'

Lots of action and car chases and shit.

Plus...you know...

With the added bonus of Angelina Jolie's ass.

My Score:

3 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four):


Now I have to send this movie back to Netflix.

I've had this thing on 'pause' for so long I'm getting TV Screen burn-in of Angelina's bum.

AWESOME.

Moog out.

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Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.
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Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

Wanted: Angelina Jolie (um...duh)

Today, we have our first-ever Guest Review.

Today's reviewer is Zac.

Zac was previously made famous over on "Mental Poo" where he dared write in to me for advice.

Not sure if he'll do that again.

Hopefully, by now, he's also kicked that wicked heroin habit.

Regardless, I received the following review from Zac for the movie:

Wanted


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Right now.

Stop what you're doing, get in your car, drive to the nearest theatre and see this movie NOW!

Seriously, everything about this movie was awesome.

Great special effects, freeking crazy action sequences and some of the coolest gun battles since Equilibrium (another movie you should watch).

Not to mention Angelina Jolie is so hot that I knocked out the guy in front of me and buttered his popcorn.

I give this movie 1/2 Mooge Splats less then whatever you gave Iron Man, cause that's the only movie this year that's better than Wanted.

Why are you still reading this? You should be at the theatre.....go! I'm watching you!

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Well...there you go.

I think he liked it.

According to RottenTomatoes.com, it's getting pretty good reviews as well (about 80% of people liked the movie).

Thanks, Zac. Your review is appreciated.

Zac's Score (1/2 splat less than my four-splat Iron Man Score):

3-1/2 Moog Splats (out of a possible four)



Moog out.
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Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.