The Dark Knight - by Derek

Ok, I don’t know how to use the PhotoShop piece of the blog so this review will be all written. No visuals. Sorry.

The Dark Knight is over 2.5 hours long but who cares if it is a good movie. I don’t want good movies to end. See Magnolia. See Life is Beautiful.

However, we did get there 20 minutes early, sat through the commercials (I still can’t believe I am paying them to watch commercials), sat through 14 sneak previews (all with explosions of some sort – it is going to be a deafening summer at the movies) and then a 160 minute movie, all after drinking three iced teas at dinner.

One more Batman fight sequence and we could have used a paddle boat out of the theater.

The movie is loud. Really loud (said the 39 year old curmudgeon). The people in the next theater watching Mamma Mia must have been pissed. Then again, Pierce Brosnan singing…maybe not. Between the glass breaking, buildings crumbling, trucks flipping, bad guys pummeled, Batmobile racing, etc, I felt like I had just left a Tool concert except without the contact high.

You have been warned. That aside, this is a great movie. This is Heath Ledger’s movie. He steals every scene he is in. He will make you laugh while your skin is simultaneously crawling. (Insert your own Brokeback Mountain joke here. I will not because I liked that movie). He is a villain with no purpose. No motive. He is simply evil. Simply awesome. Dumbass had to go and kill himself.

Aside from Heath (the Joker), you have an all-star cast. They are as follows:

Christian Bale – The best Batman period. And a great actor. See The Machinist. See American Psycho.

Maggie Gyllenhaal – She is waaaaaaaaaaay better than Katie Holmes and just adorable. And rather sexy. In fact, she is on “my list”. See The Secretary.

Morgan Freeman – Always good. He’s like Gene Hackman. You can’t go wrong.

Aaron Eckhart – Under-appreciated actor. He can smile, looking so sincere yet something about him says he’s full of sh*t. See Thank you for Smoking. See In the Company of Men.

Michael Caine – Is it me or does this guy never age? Remember Blame it on Rio? He looks the exact same and Demi Moore, just a child in that movie, is now a rubbery old lady with plastic yams. You go MC!

Gary Oldman – This guy has played Sid Vicious, Dracula and Lee Harvey Oswald. Here he plays the trusty, if not a little nerdy, Commissioner Gordon. Now that is range!

I will not go in to detail about the plot. It is smart, well-written, dark (think - pencil through the head) and thought provoking. This is easily more than just a comic book movie (see Ironman). The special effects are top notch but do not overwhelm the movie. The fight scenes are effective without being drawn out. The car chases are spectacular without overstaying their welcome (see Ronin).

Three and a half splats from me.


Four if Maggie had shown a little boob.

An Awesome Knight

It’s time once again for Moog’s Movie Reviews!!

Yeah.

Thrilling.

I know.

Today I'm reviewing "The Dark Knight."


Two words:

Holy.

Crap.

Just when I think that there can't POSSIBLY be a better superhero movie than Iron Man...

...comes "The Dark Knight."

Let's break it down...

The Pros:

1) Heath Ledger's "Joker" somehow manages to best the bad guy from "No Country for Old Men" as the best villain EVER.

EVER.

This is NOT a kid's movie. The Joker is VIOLENT. Nasty. Disgusting. Creepy. He's also a murderer...he is NOT channeling Jack Nicholson.

Almost like Rosie O'Donnell...except he uses a knife to shred his victims instead of his giant, soul-devouring mouth.

But, whatever.



2) Christian Bale is cool.

This guy can't possibly get any better.

At least this is what I thought until I saw the "Coming Attractions" before the movie.

There's a new "Terminator" movie coming.

(queue boner)

And Christian Bale is in it.

(OMG!! OMG!!)

I think I poo'd a little I was so excited.



The cons:

1) The movie is 2-1/2 hours long.

I really really start to lose interest over two hours.

At one point, I was thinking the movie was over...but it kept going for another half hour or 45 minutes.

My wife thought it went fast.

Good for her.

2) It's a Batman movie.

When I asked my wife how she liked it, she said:

"Heath Ledger MADE the movie. Except for him, though...it was just a Batman movie."

I can somewhat agree with her. Without Ledger's uber-creepy Joker...this movie would have been WAY too long and just another Batman movie.

But it's an AWESOME Batman movie.

Go see it.

Just know that when you THINK it's just about over, there's more to come.

I'm curious what my Brother-in-Law, Derek thinks...and I'm hoping he throws his own review in here as well.

My Score:

3-1/2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)



I took 1/2 splat off for length.

That sounds dirty.

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