"Slumdog Millionaire" - Vijay Patel says Wha?

Today I'm reviewing:

Slumdog Millionaire


I have to admit, I was a little hesitant to see "Slumdog Millionaire" at first.

I know it won Best Picture, but two things started to turn me off to it before I even rented it:

1) I saw a preview that showed the cast dancing that stupid fucking Bollywood shit dance stuff

2) I've been in the computer/technology industry for, like, 15 years now and - really - I thought I pretty much new every Indian person on the face of the planet since I'd worked with most of them.


Wrong on both counts.

That's right.

I was wrong.

Mark your calendar, folks, it doesn't happen often.

Slumdog Millionaire is one of the best movies I've ever seen.

(FYI- that stupid dance shit happens in the credits, thank Christ.)

Once I got past the dialect thing.

You see, I suck with accents.

If you have even the slightest accent, I'm totally fucked in any conversation with you.

Movies with Scottish/Irish actors?

Fuck it. Forget it. I give up after the first five minutes.

I have no fucking clue (or, as you Scottish say, "Feeeckin gloo") what the Hell you're talking about.

How Braveheart managed to be one of my favorites is still a mystery.

FREEDOM!!!!

Sorry.


Regardless, it took me about 10 minutes to acclimate to the accents.

But once I did...

WOW.

RENT. THIS. FRIGGIN. MOVIE.

It's an excellent story set in mostly 'flashback' mode about a poor Indian boy (termed a 'slumdog' - and you'll see why in horrible detail) who gets on the Indian version of the show 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire.'

Listen.

My last rental was fucking Marley and Me and I still find myself crying myself to fucking sleep some nights.

Stupid dog movie - why must you emasculate me so?!?!

So it was good to see a well acted, well written and excellent movie overall.

See it.

My Score:

4 Mooge Splats (out of a possible 4)


Now excuse, me...

...Vijay Sangesh Patel needs some help in the lab.

I think.

I'm not sure...I can't understand what the fuck he's saying.

Moog out.

***********************
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"Marley and Me" - Honey...Have You Seen My Testicles?

Today I'm reviewing:

Marley and Me


Fucking Ay.

Marley and Me.

I'm going to go off on a tangent here and instead of giving you the plot and characters and shit, I'm just going to give you a quiz.

Here goes:

Q: How do you know if you should rent Marley and Me?

1) Are you male?

If you answered 'yes' to this, then RUN.

RUN AWAY, MY FRIEND.

Run away from this movie and never ever look back.


Because there is no fucking way in Hell that you're not going to turn into a fucking testosterone-free, ball-less, pussified blubbering jackass woman-like piece of jell-o by the time this movie is over.

If you get through this movie and you're not bawling like 5 year old fat kid who just dropped his Sno-Cone on the hot pavement in mid-July after spending his last 50 cents on it...

...then let me be first to congratulate you on your choice of career in the slaughterhouse industry.


My wife wanted to see this in the theater.

Thank Christ 'The Dark Knight' intervened or otherwise I would have been exiting the fucking lobby looking like I'd just been pepper sprayed for three hours straight.

There's no fucking way, dude, you can watch this and somehow try to maintain the 'head of household' or 'man' portion of the relationship.

Luckily for me, I gave that up years ago.

To the Ladies:

Unless you want to see your man reduced to a slobbering corpse of what he once was, do NOT make him watch this.

Especially if he has a fucking dog. Holy shit...I don't even like my fucking dog and I was damn near close to knitting her a fucking sweater at the end of this movie.

Our time...so...fleeting.

OH SHE SHIT ON THE FUCKING CARPET AGAIN?!?!? MOTHER OF CHRIST!!

Fucking dog.

Overall - the story was, eh.

By the way....it is NOT a movie for kids.

My Score:

2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


Excuse me now.

I only have one booty left to knit and my dog's outfit will be complete.

Don't know what you've got til it's gone, ya know.

Stupid dog.

***********************
Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

***********************
Haven't had enough?

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***********************

The Wrestler - He Says 'Go,' She Says 'No'

Today I'm reviewing the movie:

The Wrestler


In a "Moog's Movie Review" first, I have a He Said/She Said review.

You see, I went to see this with my wife.

I need to stop seeing movies with her.

At least the ones I want to see.

Actually, we both wanted to see 'The Wrestler' after hearing and reading the great reviews about the movie and Mickey Rourke's Academy Award nominated performance.

However, my wife also wanted to see "Marley and Me."

Personally, I've heard about how it ends, and didn't want to leave the theater crying and sobbing...

...like I did after spending money to see that giant piece of shit, 'Cloverfield.'


I've digressed.

What you will see here is my review...and it's not a funny one (mark your calendar):

Here it is:

********************

'The Wrestler' stars Mickey Rourke as a "The Ram," a professional wrestler who had his heyday in the 1980's, and was on top of his game and the top of the world.

Fast forward to today, 20 years later, where he's broke in every sense of the word.

Battered and beaten down, we watch as The Ram goes to ridiculous (and very often, VERY gory) lengths to stay in the sport and keep himself in the public eye - where the fans and fellow wrestlers have been his only family.


As he desperately tries to keep his age at bay, he has to come to grips with the fact that he is alone in the world, mostly by his own design.

As his life takes a drastic turn mid-way through the movie, we see him try to change his ways and his legacy. He confides in a stripper (Marisa Tomei) who tries to help him along this path while also confronting her own demons as we realize that she, too, is fighting the same battle in her profession as time goes on.

(side note: Marisa Tomei spends about 20 minutes or so in this movie topless. I had never seen Marisa Tomei's boobs before. They are very nice. I may buy the DVD just for the 'pause' feature.)


When 'The Ram' realizes that he is what he is, and that he cannot or does not have the willpower to change it - we bear witness to him continuing on the path that he has chosen for himself.

The path of being what he's always been - a professional wrestler.

******************

Wow. Deep, eh?

So, here's how the movie went when it ended.

Wife: "Wow. That was the best part."

Me: "What? Then ending?"

Wife: "No. The credits."


She HATED IT.

Me: "WHAT?!?! You didn't like ANY part it?"

*pause

Wife: "No. Not one part. It was boring."

I can see that. Aside from the wrestling scenes, the film is pretty much all character development. This is NOT an action film by any stretch.

So I can see her saying that it was boring.

Me?

I thought Mickey Rourke was excellent.

Some of the scenes were so gory and realistic, that at one point I literally had to turn away from the screen.

I thought the ending was the only way it COULD end.

I thought it was really good. The more I thought about it after, the more I liked it.

My wife? Here's my wife's comparison:

We were in the bedroom and she turned on the lights.

Me: "BRIGHT LIGHT! BRIGHT LIGHT!"

* pause

Me: "Name the movie!"

Sometimes, I quote movies then ask her to guess what movie it's from.

On a related note:

I'm lame.

Wife: "Gremlins. Which was better than 'The Wrestler.'"

My wife liked 'Gremlins' better than 'The Wrestler.'

Give me 20 minutes of Marisa Tomei topless in 'Gremlins,' and I'm with you, honey.

Two scores:

My Score:

3-1/2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


My Wife's Score:

1 Mooge Splat (out of a possible four)


Before the movie, there was a preview of "Terminator: Salvation" - starring Christian Bale.

Me: "We're SO going to see that."

Wife: "I don't really like Christian Bale."

Man.

I don't even know who she is anymore.

Moog out.

********************

Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.
***********************

Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe - Yeah, I Wanted to Believe Scully Looked Better

Today I'm reviewing a film from my Netflix list:

The X-Files: I Want to Believe


Yeah, I wanted to believe.

I wanted to believe a few things:

1) I wanted to believe I'd remember where the other movie left off.

I didn't.

I was lost.

Things like:

a) Wait...are they boyfriend/girlfriend?

b) Huh? What baby? Did they have a baby?

c) Where are my pants?!?

That last one tends to happen when I watch shit with Gillian Anderson in it.

Me: "Scully..come look at THIS."

* zzziiiiip


2) I wanted to believe that Gillian Anderson would be as hot as I remembered her.

She wasn't.

(pants go back on)


3) I wanted to believe that I'd really like it.

Eh.

The plot revolves around a missing FBI agent and other women...

...a pedophile psychic (shout out to my dad here)...

...and the re-involvement of Scully and Mulder in the search for the missing.

No UFO's.

No monsters.

No big conspiracy.

Eh.

My wife (who used to watch the X-Files with me when it was on TV) summed it up this way:

Wife: "It was like a two-hour long episode of CSI."

Yeah...I'd say that's about right.


My Score:

2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


I kinda wish it WAS a two hour episode of CSI.

Then they could have cast Marg Helgenberger in Scully's place.

Oh. Yeah.

* zzziiiip


I'M BACK IN BUSINESS, BABY!

Moog out.

*********************

Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.
***********************

Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - It's a Long Fucking Curious Case

Today I'm reviewing the movie:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button


This movie is GOOD.

However...that said...

This movie is LONG.

Like, really, really fucking long.

Like, "John Holmes' penis is now a movie" long.

That's a long friggin' movie.


For me, a two-hour movie is pretty much my cutoff point where I start to lose interest.

There are a few notable exceptions to this rule:

1) Titanic

2) Forrest Gump

3) Any of the "Gonzo" porn movies I have hidden in the house...I mean...seriously...six hours of porn on ONE TAPE?! AWESOME!!

But I've digressed.


The plot revolves around Brad Pitt as the title character, as he goes through life.

This would be a non-plot if it wasn't for the fact that Benjamin Button is aging backwards.

He's born old, and gets younger as he gets older.

Hence, the 'curious' part of the title.

Think of this as a modern-day "Forrest Gump" without the comedic parts, or famous people making cameos, but with the odd twist of how someone sees life as the people around him grow old and die...

...and you've pretty much got the movie.

My wife gave it this synopsis:

"Beginning is awesome...ending is awesome. But they could have done away with the whole middle."

My synopsis:

If you can sit through a three-hour movie, then GO SEE THIS.

If you can't, then wait til it comes out on DVD and then fast-forward through the entire portion that has Tilda Swinton in it.

Not only is that a fairly useless part of the movie, but they couldn't have picked anyone uglier for the part.


It's like looking at the bottom of a foot.

She Fugly.

My Score:

3 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


I would have given it 3-1/2 splats, but the whole length and Tilda thing did me in from that extra 1/2.

Now...speaking of length...

...where did I hide my Gonzo?

Moog out.

***********************

Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.
***********************

Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

Valkyrie - The One-Eyed Monster is Good

Today, I have a review of the movie:

Valkyrie


That's right.

I finally got out of the fucking house and got to go see a movie.

THREE, in fact.

Reviews of all are upcoming.

Hey...don't pretend your nipples aren't hard. I know they are.

Oh yeah..movie review...

(sometimes, I just go off on a tangent. I go off. Get off. I get off...FUCK.. there I go again)

Valkyrie is a story about a German assassination attempt against Adolph Hitler, pulled off by officers in his own army.

I wanted to see this for a few reasons:

1) I had never heard the story before

2) I needed to get out of the fucking house after spending a week home on vacation with my kids JESUS H. CHRIST CAN I HAVE TWO MINUTES PEACE?!?!? JUST TWO?!?!?

3) You don't get to see pirates anymore, and Tom Cruise with an eyepatch looks like a pirate if you can block out the Nazi uniform.

So, off I went by myself.

The story is a good one, but has the following drawback:

You already know how it ends.

It's not like you're sitting there going:

"C'mon...c'mon...this is gonna work..."

So, you know, they fail.

By the way, if this was a spoiler for you, you're a fucking idiot.

Speaking of idiots, I found myself doing this at one point in the movie:

Scene: Tom Cruise's character is introduced to Hitler.

Officer (to Hitler): "My Fuehrer, this is Colonel von Stauffenberg."

Hitler looks up with a scowl...

...glances over...

...says nothing, and returns to what he was doing.

And I thought:

Me: "Wow. That was rude."

Um...Rod?

Hitler!

Duh.


So, that's the plot and the movie...with an ending you already know.

But, the ride, and how everything gets put into place and ultimately unravels, is worth the watch.

There's not a whole lot of actual acting or dialogue, which is good, because the one broad in the theater...

(seriously...WW2 movies are complete sausage-fests)

...happened to be sitting three seats away from me and was busy crinkling her fucking candy bag or whatever the Hell she was eating for the majority of the movie OH MY GOD WILL YOU JUST OPEN THE FUCKING THING?!? JUST OPEN IT!!!

Sorry.

I hate people.

So did Hitler.

I wish this would have worked.

My Score:

2-1/2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


Go see it.

But, if you go, OPEN YOUR CANDY FIRST.

It just may save your life.

Moog out.

***********************

Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.
***********************

Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

Twilight - and the Chick who Hated It.

Got another guest review today.

This is good, because it saves me money on movie tickets.

That means more I can spend on pay-per-view porn.

Awesome.

Today, it's Arielle from over at her blog, "Bitten."

She's reviewing the movie:

Twilight


Here you go:

******************

Out of the four movies I went to see over Thanksgiving break, Transporter 3, Bolt, Quantum of Solace, and Twilight, the latter movie was the worst.

(editor's note: Transporter 3?! Really?!)

Go see the first three before you think about setting foot in the theater for Twilight.

I think the only other movie that did worse in ratings over the break was Four Christmases, and it's number one in the box office right now. How does that work?

I will admit that I have read all four of the Twilight books, so I am no virgin to the series.

(editor's note: heh heh...you said 'virgin'. Sorry.)

I liked the books and I like vampires, but I am not a Twilight fanatic.

I went into the movie optimistic, hoping they wouldn't screw up the story like they did with Eragon. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, consider yourself lucky.)

I dragged along my fiancée because we had a deal. I went and saw Transporter with him, so he would go see Twilight with me.

(editor's note: thank you for explaining...now, dump your fiancee...seriously...f*cking Transporter 3?!?)


Several people told me that Twilight was a decent movie, and his sister and mother went and saw it with us. It was their second time going, so there had to be something decent to see again, right?

I won't bother with a synopsis of the movie, because it's basically your typical teenage romance with vampires thrown in and a little bit of action at the end.

The book was followed well, but the characters were expressionless and empty.

I can understand the vampires in the movie showing less feeling, but the girl was human and she made the same face throughout the movie whether she was crying or confessing her undying love to the vampire she just met.

The movie itself felt slow, clunky, and awkward, yet the story moved too fast. I guess a lot of book to movie adaptations happen this way, but it felt like only a few days passed in the whole movie, yet they were completely in love forever and ever.

Watching this movie made me realize how cliché and awkward the book was.

When it's in text, it seems fine, but when you actually see it being acted out, you take a step back and realize that it's completely unrealistic, from the way the characters spoke to the way they acted, it just didn't seem natural.

I've spoken to many people who have seen this movie, and this is the general idea I get from them:

Demographically, teenage and young girls will love this movie. The girls will sit in the movie and say, "OhmiGodEdward'ssoooohot!"

People who actually pay attention to the movie instead of dreaming of themselves in Bella's place will notice how bad it is. People who have not read the books (like my fiancée) will be confused for the better part of the movie. He asked me halfway through if the main character was gay.

(editor's note: seriously...he likes "The Transporter" movies...you think this lack of wit is due to him not reading the f*cking books?)

Twilight fanatics will vehemently swear that the movie is good because they don't want to admit that they're obsessed about a pile of crap.

My fiancée's mom admitted only after the movie was over and after we complained about it that she didn't like it, and she didn't have a good reason for coming back to see it again.

All in all, watching this movie was like watching a teenage girl's fantasy gone wrong, and it was uncomfortable to sit there and see it play out. I should have just stuck to the books. Now my fiancée won't read it because he saw the movie.

(editor's note: too easy)

Oh yeah, and there are going to be three more movies in this series.

Hopefully, the acting gets better. I haven't decided yet if I'll go see the other three.

My score:

I give it 1 star/Mooge splat/toaster out of four.


...and that's only because I'm a girl, and maybe I did fantasize a little bit about being in Bella's place.

Just a little bit.

************************
Thanks, Arielle!! Awesome review!

We need to talk about your fiancee, though.

Seriously. He has issues.

Now, readers...go give Arielle some lovin'.

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Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

Fracture (or.."Why the Frack didn't I see this before???)

Today, I'm reviewing yet another movie off my Netflix list:

Fracture




Fracture is a thriller/drama about a rich, brilliant man (Anthony Hopkins) on trial for the attempted murder of his wife.

There is NO question on whether or not he's the killer.

We see him do it.

He admits it to a cop and signs a confession.

Credits roll.

JUST KIDDING!

Shortest. Movie. Ever.


No - the plot of the movie, instead, revolves around whether or not Anthony Hopkins' character can GET OUT of his confession and admission of guilt.

Is he smart enough to do it?

Has he pulled one over on the authorities?

What the f*ck is up with the friggin' marbles?

(trust me...makes sense when you watch it)

The one guy entrusted to put Hopkins away is a young, asshole-ish prosecuting attorney played by Ryan Gosling.

Gosling is one of those people who LOOKS familiar, but if you've seen his movie repertoire, chances are that you either (a) just THINK he looks familiar or (b) have really bad taste in other movies.

Seriously - "Young Hercules"..."Frankenstein and Me"...

What the f*ck?


Regardless..."Fracture" turns out to be a more than decent thriller with a pretty good twist at the end.

My wife both stayed awake AND enjoyed it.

This, my friends, is rare.

My score:

3 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


Now, if you'll excuse me...

"Frankenstein and Me" just showed up in my mailbox.

This is gonna be AWESOME.

Right.

***********************
Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

***********************
Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.

***********************

Hard Candy (squirm factor: 5)

Today I’m reviewing a movie off my Netflix list:

Hard Candy


What can I say about “Hard Candy” other than:

The last time I was this uncomfortable watching a movie, was the time I watched “Wild Things” with my mom.

It wasn’t the screaming hot lesbian scenes that were the problem.

It was the fact that I kept going, “Ooooohhhh” and had to hide my tented pants the entire time as I masturbated with my back to her.

Awkward.


DAMN YOU, KEVIN BACON!!

Um..I mean:

DAMN YOU NEVE CAMPBELL AND DENISE RICHARDS!!

I'm not gay.

(re-adding “Wild Things” onto my Netflix list now…my mom lives 20 miles away)

Back to ‘Hard Candy.’

Hard Candy is basically a story about a 14 year old girl (Ellen Page from the AWESOMELY AWESOME movie, ‘Juno’ (see my review of 'Juno' here) lured into a relationship with a 32-year old pedophile (Patrick Wilson).

At least, she thinks he’s a pedophile…

...but we’re not sure if he is or not.

Hence, the mystery.


Was she lured here?

Was he going to attack her?

Did she plan this?

My GOD…can the camera guy get any f*cking closer to these people’s faces? I feel like I should try to pop their zits or something.

BACK THE F*CK OFF, CAMERA GUY!

Why didn’t I rent something else?

I think I need to shave my balls…they’re feeling scruffy.

These are the things that came through my mind.

Sometimes...I drift off.


Regardless, the story ends up being a ‘thriller’ where you’re trying to figure out if Ellen Page is a f*cking fruitcake, or if this guy really is a pedophile.

This – thankfully – isn’t given away until the very end of the movie…so it DOES keep you entertained, in that respect.

For my guy readers out there, there are also plenty of scenes that will have you curled up on the f*cking couch worse than the torture scene in Braveheart.

Trust me on this one. You WILL squirm.

Overall, not bad.

Not great…and I probably wouldn’t watch it again.

Squirming on my couch that much through this one time is more than enough.

My score:

2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


Now…off to shave my nads.

I need to be ready for when “Wild Things” arrives.

Dammit...I'm gonna need more tissues.

***********************
Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

***********************
Haven't had enough?

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***********************

"Gangster" Rap

It’s time once again for Moog’s Movie Reviews!!

When you're watching a movie with me, just remember...

...that sticky stuff around your feet may NOT be the butter from the popcorn.

Tread carefully.

Today's review is off my Netflix List:

"American Gangster"

I needed to watch this because it had been sitting in my house for three weeks, stopping disk 4 of “Rescue Me” from showing up.

Come on...Denis Leary...firefighters...

...wanton nookie involving Gina Gershon without the mention of Bill Clinton...

YOU CAN'T LOSE.


But I digress…

I was hesitant to watch this movie – even though Derek had given it his blessing – for a couple of reasons:

1) It was 2 hours and 40 minutes long
2) My wife wanted to watch it

With those two combined, it was tough to try to find a time where I thought my wife would be able to stay awake for an almost three hour long movie that she wanted to see.

Normally, watching a movie with her is similar to this:

Me: “You ready?”

Wife: “Yep. Start it.”

(I press “Play”)

Wife: “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”


So, this exact same thing happened during American Gangster, and I ended up watching it alone.

It was a VERY good movie (I’m a big fan of Russell Crowe), but long at almost three hours.

Typically, after two hours, I start to lose one interest point for every 5 minutes spent.

Sometimes, I need to use my calculator to decide when I’ve had enough.

But – that didn’t happen here…and it kept me interested enough to keep watching up until the end.


Denzel Washington:

The opening scene sets the tone for his character where he sets a guy on fire and THEN shoots him.

Wife: “Why did he light him on fire if he was just going to shoot him anyway?”

Me: “Maybe he was cold.”

Russell Crowe:

Typically awesome, as usual.

The movie runs these characters in parallel (they never actually see each other until the end), so there are actually two separate story lines running through the movie.

Although the movie is about Denzel’s character, Russell Crowe’s character is more developed and you understand him more.

Maybe we should have asked him about the fire/shooting thing.

My Score:

Three Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)



Moog out.

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Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.
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"The Crappening" (and an Introduction to Derek)

My first Guest Contributor to "Moog's Movie Reviews" is my brother-in-law, Derek.

Derek is officially a movie connoisseur (which, I believe, is Portuguese for "lady in striped shorts"), and we go back and forth A LOT on the movies we've watched.

Derek was one of the guys who keeps trying to convince me that the ending to "No Country for Old Men" is good.

It's not.

He then sent me a 5 PARAGRAPH diatribe from one of HIS friends explaining the ending of "No Country."

Listen...I just paid $10 to see this f*cking movie.

I shouldn't have to read an epilogue to get the gyst of it.

But - he IS my wife's brother and the father of my nephew, Calvin (Hey,Cal..."Fun Uncle Rodney" says "HI!")...

...so I'll cut him some slack.


That said, here's Derek's review of "The Happening," sent to me via email.

******************************

Email Subject: If we don't leave right now, we will all die.

That was some of the scintillating dialogue from the movie I saw this past weekend.

For Father's Day, Tracy gave me several hours of alone time to relax and not have to watch a child or do housework. SO I went to the movies.

I went to see "The Happening."

Other possible names for this movie could have been the obvious:

"What's Happening?"

"Nothing is Happening."

...or the more accurately:

"Why is this Happening to Me?"

(as in: why did I pay $8 to see this piece of garbage?!)

The last one is a longer title but the most fitting.


M. Night Shymalmlamalml is officially a bust.

He is Craig James.

Mark Wahlberg was terrible (although considering the material I can hardly fault him.)

I read a few reviews and a word that kept coming up was "meandering".

That is very fitting.

Derek's Score:
1/2 (half) a Mooge Splat out of a possible 4 (lowest recorded score ever)


Thanks, Derek!!

Sounds like a winner.

Derek will be a regular contributor here, I'm hoping.

Want to be one, too? Then send me an email via the link on the right, or click here.

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Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.
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