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If it's about a movie...or going to a movie...or, Christ, even watching'll find it here in "Moog's Movie Reviews!"

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - It's a Long Fucking Curious Case

Today I'm reviewing the movie:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This movie is GOOD.

However...that said...

This movie is LONG.

Like, really, really fucking long.

Like, "John Holmes' penis is now a movie" long.

That's a long friggin' movie.

For me, a two-hour movie is pretty much my cutoff point where I start to lose interest.

There are a few notable exceptions to this rule:

1) Titanic

2) Forrest Gump

3) Any of the "Gonzo" porn movies I have hidden in the house...I mean...seriously...six hours of porn on ONE TAPE?! AWESOME!!

But I've digressed.

The plot revolves around Brad Pitt as the title character, as he goes through life.

This would be a non-plot if it wasn't for the fact that Benjamin Button is aging backwards.

He's born old, and gets younger as he gets older.

Hence, the 'curious' part of the title.

Think of this as a modern-day "Forrest Gump" without the comedic parts, or famous people making cameos, but with the odd twist of how someone sees life as the people around him grow old and die...

...and you've pretty much got the movie.

My wife gave it this synopsis:

"Beginning is awesome...ending is awesome. But they could have done away with the whole middle."

My synopsis:

If you can sit through a three-hour movie, then GO SEE THIS.

If you can't, then wait til it comes out on DVD and then fast-forward through the entire portion that has Tilda Swinton in it.

Not only is that a fairly useless part of the movie, but they couldn't have picked anyone uglier for the part.

It's like looking at the bottom of a foot.

She Fugly.

My Score:

3 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)

I would have given it 3-1/2 splats, but the whole length and Tilda thing did me in from that extra 1/2.

Now...speaking of length...

...where did I hide my Gonzo?

Moog out.


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1 comment:

meleah rebeccah said...

Okay. I can deal with a three hour movie. Im actually excited to see this one too.