Reviews. Ratings. Stories. The "Dick in the Popcorn" trick.

If it's about a movie...or going to a movie...or, Christ, even watching'll find it here in "Moog's Movie Reviews!"

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

"He's Just Not That Into You" - (Thank Christ)

Today I'm reviewing a movie off my Netflix list:

He's Just Not That Into You

Let me get this out front and say that the ONLY fucking reason that it was on my Netflix list is because my wife wanted it there.

Sometimes I let her win.

Regardless, let's get to it.

See that movie poster up there for the movie?

It could easily be replaced with this one:

What a giant piece of dogshit.

Listen, you know a chick flick is shit when the woman who wanted to watch it in the first place says this at the closing credits:

Wife: "Well. That was a giant waste of two hours."

Two hours?

Try two hours, nine minutes.

Killing myself would take less time, and I'd probably laugh more doing it.

The two bright spots:

1) Scarlett Johansson is in it AND getting her boobs groped while wearing a bra!

2) See #1.

There were more fucking people in one of the most convoluted 'he said'/'she said' plots than Jon and Kate discussing who they were going to have an affair with next.



Sure, it would be like screwing an open window after her 8 kids...but whatever.

Regardless, this crapfest makes it on my 'Moog's Awful Movie List.'

My Score:

1 Mooge Splat (out of a possible four)

The single splat is simply to acknowledge Scarlett's sweet, sweet boobies.

So, I guess there WERE two reasons to like the movie.

Her left one, and her right one.

Moog out.

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LBluca77 said...

I watched this movie a few weeks ago and this morning was thinking of doing a post on it. Not a movie review but the crap of dating. I actually did like the movie somewhat. But i'm a girl, i think am required to like it.

kathcom said...

I'm just about to watch this and Confessions of a Shopaholic so I can do a chick flick review.

I've been putting it off because I don't want to see them. When my husband volunteered to watch Bride Wars, I said no. Thank God I saved him from that steaming pile of crap. You are a good man to sit through this stuff.