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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Harold & Kumar - Ride that Cheetah!!

I’ve never been to a White Castle.

Or Guantanamo Bay.

I’m more thankful for the latter.

However, Harold & Kumar have been to both places.

And it’s f*cking hilarious.

Today, I’m reviewing a double-shot off my Netflix list:

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

Here are the movies in a nutshell:

Buddy Movie + Stoner Jokes + Lots of Pussy Talk + Toilet Humor + Road Trip + Stupidity

If you can laugh at the prospect of two high guys riding a cheetah, then these movies are for you.

Surprisingly, my wife watched both of them with me.

In the first movie, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, our main characters are wasted and on a quest for munchies.

White Castle hamburgers are the object of their desire.

Now, I’ve never even SEEN a White Castle, let alone had one of their burgers.

(except for the frozen ones we got at the supermarket one time – and I’m assuming that they lose a bit in the translation because I certainly wouldn’t be doing half the shit these guys were trying to get this f*cking burger)

This quest takes them through a fantasmical voyage of such stupidity, that I found myself crying laughing at some points.

Yes - I admit it.

I’m a man, and I cried.

Line forms at the rear of the room, ladies!

The second movie, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, is just regular stupid.

But stupid and funny.

It takes place IMMEDIATELY after the first one – and is WAY over the top compared to the first one as far as believability goes

(listen, when the first one has a scene where the guys are riding a cheetah through the forest, and the SECOND one is less believable, you know you have some storyline issues).

Regardless, it had it’s VERY funny parts including the weirdest ménage-a-trois sex scene sequence you will ever, ever see.

Search "Harold Kumar Threesome" on YouTube if you don’t plan on renting the movies – the clip alone is worth a watch.

Two separate scores here:

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

3 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)

Excuse me while I go hunt down a White Castle burger.

Now…where did I park that damn cheetah?

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