Bolt - (Richard Gere would LOVE this hamster)

Today on Moog's Movie Reviews, I'm reviewing the latest kid-flick:

Bolt


The wife and I took the kids to see this the day after Thanksgiving.

Along with 7,000,000 other parents.

Including the broad who fell asleep in the row behind me while her four year old daughter KEPT KICKING MY F*CKING CHAIR SERIOUSLY KID I WILL RIP YOUR F*CKING LEGS OFF IF YOU DON'T STOP I SWEAR IT.

Ahem.

It was a joyous event.

Bolt (voiced by John Travolta) is about a scientologist who is banging Kelly Preston.

Oops. Sorry. That's Travolta.

Prick.


Bolt is about a dog with super powers including, but not limited to:

1) Laser Vision
2) A Super Bark
3) Super Strength
4) Supersonic leg-humping ability

The problem is, that he BELIEVES he has these powers, but really doesn't.

This is because Bolt is actually the star of a TV show about a "super dog" - and the producers and cast want to make sure he believes this so his grit and determination appear real on the set.

I believe they did this same trick with Lynda Carter in Wonder Woman.

OMG. I would let Lynda Carter lasso me any time.

But I've digressed.


When his "person" is kidnapped ("Penny" voiced by Miley Cyrus...um..is she legal yet?)in a story plot, Bolt believes this is real and breaks out of the set in an attempt to rescue her.

Thus, the movie revolves around Bolt's quest and coming to terms with the fact that he is not, in fact, super.

On the way he befriends two other characters, a cat and a hamster.

The hamster pretty much steals every scene he's in, and is pretty much worth the price of admission alone.


I laughed a lot during this movie, causing my wife - at one point - to look at me from three seats away and mouth:

"SHUT. UP."

Apparently, I was that one loud jackass who's killing himself while everyone else is mildly chuckling.

Awesome.

Regardless, I highly recommend Bolt for the entire family.

My Score:

3-1/2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


Now...excuse me...

...I'm off to rent the Wonder Woman DVD set.

Lynda Carter, I have a wonderful night planned with you, me, the remote, and a big box of tissues.

I'm gonna lasso that asso.

Moog out.

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