Reviews. Ratings. Stories. The "Dick in the Popcorn" trick.

If it's about a movie...or going to a movie...or, Christ, even watching TV...you'll find it here in "Moog's Movie Reviews!"

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Igor - I Have a Hunch You Won't Like It

"My name is Igor. Wait..wait...I have a hunch on my back. What's my name going to be?...Kevin?"

*cricket*

Scintillating dialog.

This past weekend I took the kids to see Igor.”


Why I simply don’t start waiting for the DVD, I have no idea.

Igor is a story about an “Igor” – go figure – namely a mad scientists’ helper.

In the land that this takes place in (“Malaria” – AH, the hilarity!), if you’re born with a hunch on your back, you’re named “Igor” automatically.

Also, you are required to attend “Igor school"...

(where you learn to talk with a slur and – for some reason – an English accent)

...and you MUST work for a mad scientist.

Just for clarification, this differs from all the movies I usually see where “hump on my back” has an ENTIRELY different meaning…

…and the wife yells at me for taking the kids.

I mean, in her defense, the theater they show those in IS in a shady part of town.

But I've digressed.


Regardless, these are the rules in the city of “Malaria.”

Personally, I think that they need to start checking out their drinking water if that many kids are born with giant glops of shit on their backs…but, whatever.

The only way I can see this many kids being born with humps is if the Chinese are now in charge of water purification in the city.

This Igor (voiced by John Cusack) wants to be more than just a switch-puller...

(again…different meaning in the movies I usually watch)

...and aspires to be his own evil scientist.

When his master dies in a hideous explosion – blasting his arm clean off – he gets his chance to create his own experiment using discarded body parts.

Um...

Did I mention that this is rated “PG” and NOT “G?”

I actually had NO idea until I started writing this review.

I knew something was off during the “Brainwash” sequence where they choose to brainwash Igor’s creation using the “Axe Murderer” method.

Really.


For a 90-minute movie, I think my first laugh came on or around minute 85.

This, despite the fact that Steve Buscemi actually voices one of the main characters, was a HUGE disappointment for me.

On a side note, I believe that this is the second movie that involves Steve Buscemi and dismembered feet (see: "Fargo"...please, SEE "FARGO")

Really.

At one point, Buscemi’s character (some weird zombie rabbit) chews off his own feet.

*cricket*


22 bucks folks.

22 bucks right down the shitter.

Wait for the DVD.

Then don’t rent it.

My Score:

½ Mooge Splat (out of a possible four).



How did my kids like it?

My kids liked it…but, then again, my kids are dying to see “Beverly Hills Chihuahua.”

Kill me.

Nevermind…don’t kill me.

I might end up in “Igor 2.”


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1 comment:

meleah rebeccah said...

I love John Cusack, but you cant PAY me to watch this movie.