Reviews. Ratings. Stories. The "Dick in the Popcorn" trick.

If it's about a movie...or going to a movie...or, Christ, even watching'll find it here in "Moog's Movie Reviews!"

Friday, August 8, 2008

The Reaping (is Swank a Skank?)

It’s time once again for Moog’s Movie Reviews!!
Where I rate movies using the patented (not really) "Mooge Splat" system.

Here a splat, there a splat...everywhere a splat splat.

Just like in the shower with a new bar of Dial.

Perhaps I've said too much.

Today's review is off my Netflix list:

The Reaping

Here's my review:


It's a horror movie about a religious skeptic (Hillary Swank) sent to debug a "miracle" that is happening in a town in the center of the bible-belt.

All kinds of apocalyptic things happen...

(i.e., Scarlett Johannson gets engaged...Jessica Alba has a baby)

...and the shit starts hitting the fan.

The movie?

Not that great. Not that bad.

I've seen worse. I've seen better.

There's a decent twist in the movie that gives it some life, but it may be a little too late for some people.

Overall, my score:

2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)

Now, onto the REAL Question:

Is Hilary Swank hot or not?

My wife and I disagree on this.

Sometimes, she's hot. Like in this movie...she's pretty hot.

Sometimes, she's just okay.

Sometimes, she resembles a chewed callous.

Help me out.

Is Swank a skank?

Moog out.

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LBluca77 said...

She can be hit or miss in the looks department.

It is her big mouth that makes her looks questionable. You know she can swallow a 64 ounce steak in one bite.

Anonymous said...

Thought big mouth means she can open wide and take a man all in? Good thing...??

Anonymous said...

I think it depends on the lighting. Sometimes she's hot, but most of the time? Not So Much.