Reviews. Ratings. Stories. The "Dick in the Popcorn" trick.

If it's about a movie...or going to a movie...or, Christ, even watching'll find it here in "Moog's Movie Reviews!"

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

"The Crappening" (and an Introduction to Derek)

My first Guest Contributor to "Moog's Movie Reviews" is my brother-in-law, Derek.

Derek is officially a movie connoisseur (which, I believe, is Portuguese for "lady in striped shorts"), and we go back and forth A LOT on the movies we've watched.

Derek was one of the guys who keeps trying to convince me that the ending to "No Country for Old Men" is good.

It's not.

He then sent me a 5 PARAGRAPH diatribe from one of HIS friends explaining the ending of "No Country."

Listen...I just paid $10 to see this f*cking movie.

I shouldn't have to read an epilogue to get the gyst of it.

But - he IS my wife's brother and the father of my nephew, Calvin (Hey,Cal..."Fun Uncle Rodney" says "HI!")... I'll cut him some slack.

That said, here's Derek's review of "The Happening," sent to me via email.


Email Subject: If we don't leave right now, we will all die.

That was some of the scintillating dialogue from the movie I saw this past weekend.

For Father's Day, Tracy gave me several hours of alone time to relax and not have to watch a child or do housework. SO I went to the movies.

I went to see "The Happening."

Other possible names for this movie could have been the obvious:

"What's Happening?"

"Nothing is Happening."

...or the more accurately:

"Why is this Happening to Me?"

(as in: why did I pay $8 to see this piece of garbage?!)

The last one is a longer title but the most fitting.

M. Night Shymalmlamalml is officially a bust.

He is Craig James.

Mark Wahlberg was terrible (although considering the material I can hardly fault him.)

I read a few reviews and a word that kept coming up was "meandering".

That is very fitting.

Derek's Score:
1/2 (half) a Mooge Splat out of a possible 4 (lowest recorded score ever)

Thanks, Derek!!

Sounds like a winner.

Derek will be a regular contributor here, I'm hoping.

Want to be one, too? Then send me an email via the link on the right, or click here.


Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.


AngryMan said...

Derek should take over this blog. You're the Ropert to his Ebert. Which I guess means that you can't talk w/o the help of a computer . . . How's that working out for you?

Moooooog35 said...

Angry: I think you're confusing Ropert with Stephen Hawking.

AngryMan said...

I got the whole thing wrong, let me try again:
"You're the Roper to his Ebert, which I guess means that HE can't talk w/o the help of a computer . . .
How's that working out for him?"

It's a reference to Ebert's cancer which caused him to get his jaw removed.

Moooooog35 said...

Angry: Awesome. Nothing says funny like a good jaw-cancer joke.

Kudos to you, my friend!!

FreeOscar said...


Derek needs to go to a strip club instead of shitty movie by himself for Father's Day.