The Review Update..."Transformers 2," "The Hangover," "Doubt," and "Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs"

Because I've been on vacation, and busy, I've been neglecting my movierly (what the fuck?) duties.

So...today...

YOU GET FOUR REVIEWS!!

FOUR!!

Sit down and stop clapping...you're embarrassing yourselves.

Also:

I think I'm hanging up this site.

But I want your opinion on it.

Because...

Two things have come to mind to me recently regarding these reviews:

1) I no longer have the time to continue to write the lengthy movie reviews that I do here and...

2) I'm quickly running out of money going to all these fucking movies

That said, I'm either going to shut this site down shortly...

...or try to get some volunteers to help me out.

* cough

* looking at YOU

Let me know what you think of these shorter, abridged versions and if you think this site is worth continuing if I was to only do them in this shorter fashion.

In the meantime, some short reviews of things I've seen recently:

In Theaters:

Transformers 2: The Revenge of the Fallen

The Pros: 1) Megan Fox

2) See #1

3) Special Effects are excellent

4) See #2

The Cons:

1) Will someone please call John Turturro and tell him that his career called and wants him back?

2) Some scenes don't have Megan Fox in them.

Seriously...what the fuck?

My Score: 2-1/2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible 4)



The Hangover

GO SEE THIS FUCKING MOVIE RIGHT NOW.

Are you still here?

Did you not read what I just wrote?!

Get your ass moving!

Funniest goddamn movie I've seen in a LOOONG time.

Awesomeness Awesomenicity.

My Score: 3-1/2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible 4)



Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

I have two kids and therefore am required by law to see stuff like this every so often.

However...not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Not as good, either, though.

The saving grace, once again, is that stupid squirrel thing, 'Scrat,' which I sometimes call 'scat' because I'm obsessed with poop.

Don't judge.

My Score: 2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible 4)



From my Netflix List:

Doubt

I believe that this was a contender last year for 'Best Picture.'

Well deserved nomination.

Now, I'm not a fan of Meryl Streep, but she was simply fucking awesome in this movie.

However, this was also the first movie where I looked at Amy Adams and went..

"Hmm...maybe she's NOT that hot."

I never want to have that feeling again.

Great movie though with an ending that leaves you in...well...doubt.

But well worth seeing for the acting, at the very least.

My Score:

3-1/2 Mooge Splats (out of a possible 4)



Again...

I'm not sure where I'll be going with this site moving forward...

BUT any and all guest posts are welcome.

Also...money is welcome, too.

These tickets are getting expensive.

Moog out.


***********************
Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

***********************
Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.

"Pan's Labyrinth" and "The Orphanage" - A Guest Review

Once again, I let my readers do the reviewing...

...as I basically sit back and masturba...um...relax.

Yes. I'm relaxing.

What?

Regardless, today I have a guest review from Kimberly Mead over at TwentySomething.

She's reviewing the movies:

Pan's Labyrinth

..and..

The Orphanage

Thanks, Kim!!

Read on!

***********************

Pan's Labyrinth

Last year sometime, I saw Pan's Labyrinth.

I thought it was a great movie - though not at all what I originally expected.

The previews made it seem as though it was on the same page as movies such as Narnia, when really it was a thriller / gruesome story about a little girl (Ofelia) who created a fantasy world to deal with the harsh reality she was living in.

In her harsh world – 1944, in Spain – she has just come to live with her military stepfather who doesn’t care for her at all, because he is waiting on the son that her mother was (hopefully) pregnant with, and her mother was struggling with her pregnancy and bedridden.

This is not something you want your kids to see.

There are no sweet, sarcastic beavers like in Narnia.

Instead there are fairies that die if you eat forbidden food, and a scary dude with eyeballs in the palms of his hands that will chase you out of his lair.

Ofelia’s ally is the faun who tells her to complete certain tasks to prove she is the princess of an underground kingdom. (Cue the guy with the eyes in his hands and dying fairies)

The ending is surprisingly uplifting, even though it comes after considerable violence.

The movie was written and directed by Guillermo del Toro, in Spanish with subtitles. It was intriguing, scary, a little gory and overall rentworthy.

*****************

The Orphanage

So, on blockbuster.com, I found another movie Guillermo del Toro worked on - The Orphanage.

It had a similar feel to Pan's Labyrinth in that it was a thriller / scary movie and had a pretty dark story line. (And, also in Spanish with subtitles.)

Basically, The Orphanage starts with a little girl named Laura who lives at an orphanage and is being adopted.

Cut to 30 years later, and she has her own son and husband.

She has just bought the house the orphanage was in 30 years ago and plans to open her own home for children.

Her son, who is also adopted and suffers from an illness, has imaginary friends that are a bit too real to him.

Laura struggles with her rational/mother mode and support of her son when she plays along with his 'imagination'.

Tragedy / a little bit of mystery strikes the family, and the rest of the movie takes you through their ordeal. It’s a bit nuts – you see the things the mother does to solve the mystery and wonder – when are the men in white coats coming to take her away??

It was not at all predictable - which is refreshing since so many movies can be figured out before they are over.

If you can stand a few jumpy scenes and creepy masks - I would recommend renting this.

Just a heads up - I watched it during the day and was creeped out by the masks!


***********************
BOO!!

Did I get you?

Probably not. Okay...back to mastur..

Relaxing.

I'm relaxing.

Thanks, Kim! Great reviews!

And go give Kim a read over on TwentySomething.


***********************
Want to be a reviewer? Send me a review!!

Want a movie reviewed? Let me know!

Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we'll see what we can do.

***********************
Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.

***********************