Reviews. Ratings. Stories. The "Dick in the Popcorn" trick.

If it's about a movie...or going to a movie...or, Christ, even watching TV...you'll find it here in "Moog's Movie Reviews!"

Monday, June 9, 2008

TOO MUCH PENIS!!! TOO MUCH PENIS!!


It’s time once again for Moog’s Movie Reviews!!

Where I retell the adventures of my movie-going experiences.

...including filling squirt guns with hand lotion and shooting it all over the people in the front row while I'm moaning uncontrollably.

Good times...good times.


Anyway...

If you read my “Sex and the Stupid F*cking City” review, you’ll note that I was actually at the theater to see “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”

However, I was trampled by a violent mob of post-SATC-viewing, estrogen-spewing MILF’s...

...and summarily carried away to a bar that only served drinks in pastel colors where all the women wore big f*cking hats.

Not a bad thing, really.


Anyway…

So the wife and I went to see “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”

This was a tough sell for me, because my wife HATED all the other movies made by these guys: “40-Year-Old Virgin,” “Knocked Up” and “Superbad.”

So…it was either this…or I take her to see “Iron Man”….

…which I actually considered doing (which would make it my THIRD time seeing it), but decided against this for this simple reason:

If she hated it, I would have to kill her.



Really…if you like a movie SO much that you actually see it in the theater TWICE (at an estimated cost of $320), you expect everyone else to like it.

..and I simply couldn’t bear the fact that if my wife HATED it, we’d have to face the fact that divorce would follow shortly afterward.

So…Sarah Marshall it was.


I thought it was VERY funny.

My wife thought it was good.

Not great. But good.

I think the fact that it was a “romantic comedy” saved it for her.

On the other hand, this is the first “romantic comedy” I’ve seen that had full frontal male nudity for, like, 3 f*cking minutes.

I don’t need to see that much dick. I see enough of my own.

Granted, my penis is usually dressed up in a Barbie outfit…but whatever.


At one point I think I yelled, "ENOUGH WITH THE DINK ALREADY!"

I happened to be in the men's room at the time.

Awkward.

Anyway…

Jason Segel (Peter Bretter):

This guy has been great in all the movies he’s done for these guys.

However, having seen his penis has completely ruined “How I Met Your Mother” for me for the rest of it’s run.

All through the movie I kept wondering, “I wonder if the chicks in HIMYM are looking at his dick in this movie right now, thinking, “DAMN!!”


Kristen Bell (Sarah Marshall):

Hot. Needs bigger boobs.

Mila Kunis (Rachel Jansen):

When she was on “That 70’s Show” I kept feeling like a pedophile thinking she was hot.

She’s WAY hotter in this movie. WAY hotter.

Plus, she looks older now.

Hooray!


Of course, now I’ve graduated to “Sick Pervert with penis out at ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’”

The guy in front of me was NOT amused.

Paul Ruud (Chuck):

F*cking guy is brilliant. BRILLIANT.

If I had a movie to make, and it needed to be funny, I only need to hire this guy.


My Score:

3 out of 4 Mooge Splats.



I’m saving the extra splat for the chicks coming out of the “Sex and the City” movie.

I mean, hell, I’ve already got my penis out.

Why waste it?

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Haven't had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.
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5 comments:

meleah rebeccah said...

Now I cant wait to see this movie. I hope no one else has their penis out!

Becky..AMHW said...

I like to see penis now and again, but I don't think I'll watch this one anytime soon. Romantic comedies...most of them I could take or leave.

Saw 5, I'll go see that.

moooooog35 said...

Becky: Here's to hoping Sarah Jessica Parker is in "Saw 5"

AngryMan said...

Wifey rented the first season of Veronica Mars and I about blew my load every five minutes during that show. Kristen Bell is some hot piece of ass, I'll tell you.

Raspootin said...

Some how I think I am more amused by your review than I would be by the movie.

I'll wait till it comes to blockbuster!